Since we have adopted just recently it has been a gut check for Glenna and I both on looking at every part of our lives, especially how we are parenting our now 6 kids. Last night we had our monthly Thursday worship Gathering. We typically take the Lord’s Supper together and often there are baptisms. Standing on stage last night watching one family baptize two of their kids I was overwhelmed. Chris Alston, our West Campus pastor had just lead us through a time of praying specifically for our kids. Those two things back to back started to well up in me all of these thoughts of “what have I learned to be help me be a dad to all of these kids? Am I really equipped to be able to get all six of my kids to the place that this family was last night?”
It was in that moment that I felt like God reassured me of one thing. The best thing I can be for my kids is simply a beggar. Before I spend an exorbitant amount of hours on parenting books or seminars or even just giving of what God has gifted me with, I have to start with begging God for their souls. I know that I can fall into the trap of thinking that I should approach God like he’s my assistant coach and I’m the head coach, like he’s up in the booth with a bird’s eye view of my offense and radioing down suggestions.
“Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)
If I take off my pride, my wisdom, my experience and place that all at the feet of Christ, then with my empty hands I can approach God like a beggar, with nothing to offer. It’s in that place that God’s can use my wisdom, my experience, my imperfections, my shapable heart. Truly the phrase “beggars can’t be choosers” is a comfort that God gives us as believers, but especially parents. We can approach these little lives that God has entrusted to us because He’s the chooser. He chose them to be our kids, and even with our two new adopted boys, God chose them to be Hardings. We were simply the receivers. That’s the place that I want to be. That’s the place I’m fighting for.